முதல் ஆண்டு நினைவு அஞ்சலி

வல்லமை தாராயோ

இன்றுடன் ஒர் வருடம். ஆம், தந்தையில்லா பிள்ளையாய் நான் வாழ வற்புறுத்தப்பட்டு இன்றுடன் ஒர் வருடம். கடந்த ஒர் ஆண்டை அசை போடுகின்றேன்.... நான் தேடி பார்த்தும் குறை ஒன்றும் கண்டு விட முடியவில்லை. என்னை நல்ல நிலையிலேயே விட்டுச் சென்றிருக்கிறார். நல்ல கல்வி, செல்வத்தை தேடி ஓடத் தேவையற்ற நிலை, அன்பைப் பொலிய தாய், வேண்டுமென்று கேட்குமுன்னே உதவும் உற்றார், வேறன்ன வேண்டும் இம்மானுட பிறவிக்கு? “குறையொன்றும் இல்லை கண்ணா, கோவிந்தா, கோபாலா” என்று பாடிக் கொண்டிருக்க வேண்டும்.

ஆனால் அதுவன்று என் மனனிலை. ஏதோ ஓர் ஏக்கம், ஏதோ ஓர் வெறுமை. ஆம் என் பிடி வாதத்திற்கு ஈடு கொடுத்து, நான் எதிர்ப்பேன் என்றும் பொருட்படுத்தாமல் என் தவறுகளை கண்டித்து, என் தேவைகளை நானே அறியும் முன்னே பூர்த்தி செய்யுது, இன்னும் எவ்வளவோ இல்லாமல் வாழ்க்கை ஓர் வெறுமையாகத்தான் தோன்றுகிறது.

ஒரு பொழுதும் நேரடியாக பேசிக் கொண்டதில்லை, இருப்பினும் ஓரு பொழுதும் இருந்ததில்லை எண்ண இடைவெளி. இருவரும் ஓற்ற வழியில் சிந்ததில்லை, இருப்பினும் சொல்லாமலே ஒருவர் முடிவை மற்றொறுவர் அறிந்தே இருந்தோம். வள்ளுவன் வாக்கிற்கினங்க “இவன் தந்தை இவனை பெற என்னோற்றான் கொள்” என பெருமைப் பட வைக்கவில்லை இருப்பினும் அத்தகு மக்கட்க்கு மேல் மெச்சப் பட்டேன்.

அந்தோ இவை அனைத்தும் ஓர் நாளில் மறைந்ததை தாங்கும் பக்குவத்தை கற்றுக் கொடுக்க தவறினாரே. என்னை மழுமை படுத்திய பின்பே காலனுக்கு தன்னை இறையாக்கியவரை கண்டு விடும் கண்ணீர் அவர் ஆன்மாவை கழங்க வைக்கும் என்று உணர்ந்த என் மனம், அவர் இல்லாமல் வாழ்க்கை முன்னே சென்றுதானாக வேண்டுமென என ஏனோ உணர மறுக்கிறது. உலகில் அனைத்தும் ஓர் சக்தி, அவற்றின் அதிர்வழைகள் மட்டுமே வேறென தெறிந்தும் அதனை ஏற்க பக்குவப் படாத மனத்துடன் எங்ஙகனம் இவ்வாழ்வின் தேடலைத் தொடருவேன்?

ஆனால் நான் நின்று விட போவதில்லை. வாழ்வில் பொருளையோ, வாழ்வின் பொருளையோ தேடி ஓடப் போவதமில்லை. எதுவும் நிலையில்லை என்ற புலத்துடன், என்னுள் இருக்கும் ஆனந்தத்தை மட்டுமே நோக்க எத்ததனிக்கிறேன். என்னை பக்குவப்பட வழி நடத்த வேண்டு்ம் என் தந்தையே!

“உலகாள எண்ணி,
பல பினி கண்டு,
நின்னடி சறனடைந்தேன்,
என் கண் திறவாயோ?”

Can I ever achieve the "BLISS"

I am one of the guys who get confused a lot about the ways to attain that so called eternal “Bliss”. I am not clear which is the best path to attain this, an atheist’s route or theist’s route? In fact I am not clear about which is correct Theism or Atheism. This blog is essentially meant to pour out some of my confused thoughts on this subject rather than putting any of my arguments for or against either side. I am just hoping to get some insights from the readers.



“Aum Saha Naavavathu Sahanau Bhunaktu
Saha Veeryam Kara Vaavahai
Tejasvi Naavadheetamastu Maa Vidwishaavahai
Aum Shantih Shantih Shantihi”


Meaning: May the Lord protect us both, may He nourish us both, may we work together with great vigor (divine strength). May we both acquire brilliance of our intellect through our studies, may we not hate each other. Let there be peace, peace, peace.


The Atheist:

Let me start with the birth. Preliminary question that everybody gets at least once in their live is “why am I born?”. The spiritual side gives different opinion on this. Hinduism says “ You are born because of your sin in earlier births”. Most other religions say “Your life will be over if you commit sins”. If I were to go by Hinduism I would say God is source of problems, because he sends me to the earth without a target. In a corporate, I will be clearly given a target and at any point in time I would know it and hence I would work towards that goal and try and achieve the same. In the absence of any target, not only me but any employee would do whatever gives him the happiness. This applies for the world also. Why the God has not set that target???? If one can do whatever he wants to do for his happiness then why is he not allowed being happy always?

The logical conclusion of the above argument should lead to what other religions say, i.e don’t do sins during this birth is correct.

Agreed, but what is the point a) Whatever good I do, I am not going to outlive this world. b) Day in and day out I feel the pains and sorrows of live. So, better do the sins live happily and get rid of this world soon. So, more the sins, more the happiness and sooner release from world prison.

Before proceeding further I would like to pour out the confusion on the meaning of sin itself. Going by standard definition - Sin rather “Non-Sin” is something that doesn’t cause trouble to anybody. I am afraid that this definition would fit in only for a sin free world, where only one guy does sins. For example a thief is hiding in my house and an angry crowd is chasing him to beat him down. If I protect the thief then I am supporting a sinner, if I hand him over to the crowd I’m supporting another group of sinners. If I take the third route of handing him over to police myself, this still will not make me a non sinner. As the police man is not going to treat him as a living being (to say the least) and thus make me supporter of another sinner.

So, what is God trying to accomplish by sending me to the world? He has neither made the target clear nor the process clears (life tasks) but, constantly nudges me with day to day troubles. Going by this argument one should conclude that God wants to prove that he is the superior being and hence creates situations and always wins himself. This is like a cricket match in which man is the batsman and God is everything else like bowler, fieldsman and most importantly the umpire. Hahahhah what is the point in playing this match???!!!!!!!!!! My head is spinning.

The Theist:

People who stopped with the last para would have concluded this is one other atheist’s cribbing. I vouch am a struck in the middle guy. I do pray God. So, where is God? Assume that you have never tasted anything sweet, if I come to you and say that Sugarcane is sweetest thing in the world, what will you realize? You will just think I am a crook speaking about a non-existent thing.

My belief is God may be in temples or could be, as Vedas say everything is “Bhramam/ God” i.e same energy vibrating in different frequencies, but I am just not able to realize it.

So, “Anbe Sivam”- Love is God? I don’t think so. What will I get in return for love? Every love in this world has some selfish motives attached to it. Though the mother’s love has the least of selfish motives, still it can’t be counted out. If mother’s love is selfless then all child should be the same, which is not the case. ( I am not elaborating on this as that is not the purpose here). “Love at large and don’t expect anything” is as good as killing yourself. I mean why live just to serve the mankind?

Social systems cause of this trouble?

I think our social system is something that needs to be blamed for this situation. Social systems had been framed according to the times in which they started evolving, but over a period of time we are getting confused whether the system should evolve along with the changing times or stick to whatever is already there. “Is the man for system or is the system for man” I don’t know.

For example take this marriage system. Vedas say both Sanyasa and Family life are kind of Dharmas i.e “IL-Aram”(family life dharma) and “Thuravu-Aram”(sage life dharma). But somewhere in the Upanishad it says by birth human beings are indebted to do certain activities and hence getting Sanyasa is a sin. In some other place it says, to attain the “Bliss” one should leave family life. But this never speaks about the third path that is Bramacharyam!!!, as if it does not exist.

Another instance.

Vedas consistently say their purpose is to help the human being attain the Bliss. The path that Vedas suggest to attain Bliss is something like “treat all moments equally” or “take both sorrows and happiness in the same way”. If that is the case then what is the need for Atharvana Veda, the Veda that is meant for teaching ways to win over enemies, through things like black magic.

Thinking or rather getting confused with all these thoughts, the conclusion that I am heading to is, while there exists something called God (because I am not winning in all aspects of life) the social systems that are supposedly created to help the man is confusing the mankind between acceptable social clauses and the Bliss. Now we are in a stalemate, we can neither leave the social systems and attain Bliss nor live with the social system and face all the troubles with indifference. I am just thinking why cant one try the less traveled / discussed path of “Bramacharya” or Bachelorhood to reach the so called Bliss. Though Bramacharya may not be panacea couldn’t that be a better path?

May be readers can provide me with more insights.



P.S: I have discussed about Vedas in many places because I know at least a little about them, as I was a Hindu by birth. However this in no way means that I am saying other religions suggest a better living way or inferior living way.